Victory Unintentional
by screaming phoenix
Summary: What would happen if Kim and Ron were kidnaped by aliens for study? Battle Suits and Mystical Monkey Power galore plus anal probes! Chapter 6 up and done! Complete
1. Chapter 1

Victory Unintentional

**Disclaimer **I don't own anything but the idea in the following story. Disney still owns Kim, Ron and most of the universe (I hear they might sell Saturn if the offer is right.)

**Thanks to all reviewers who have read previous stories and anyone who read them but didn't review. **

This will be my first multi-chapter tale on here so I can join those ranks of posters that can get hounded for updates, or maybe not. It all depends on you people!

I do hope to update in a timely manner and not leave you hanging for a long time.

**Much thanks to CajunBear 73 for a great beta read and pointing out when I screw up. You Rock!!**

Please Read and leave a Review it helps, really. You don't know when you mess up until someone points it out to you. Then you slap yourself on the forehead and wonder, "How did I miss that?"

**May you live in interesting times.** **May you come to the attention of those in authority.** **May you find what you are looking for.** Trinity of Chinese curses

**Victory Unintentional**

**Chapter 1: **

**Captured **

_Captain's Log: I beg to report to the High Command that the Destroyer FarSeeker has established high orbit around the planet known to its inhabitants as Earth. We are currently on full alert pending sensor readings of the planet and its defenses. If all readings match missions parameters then we will implement Phase 1 of Operation Grab and Go. War Leader Dacht'his has expressed his contempt with our precautions and has stated that he could conquer the planet below us with a squad of WarriorPrimes in about one earth day. I have warned him of overconfidence and reminded him of a similar case he was involved in ten time cycles ago. He was not pleased with my reminder and has since retired to his cabin to consult with his seconds. This report filed on the Twenty-third year of our Majesty's Reign and the Three hundredth and Tenth year of the Imperium. Ten'Lav, Captain of FarSeeker, Head of Clan Lav. Order of the Imperium first class. Sept of Kath' less. Defender of Homespace._

_End report._

_To Admiral Nutchess'led_

_Chief of Staff, Imperial War Council_

_My old friend,_

_These milk runs are getting on my nerves, go to a planet, collect samples of the intelligent life, run tests and then release them. I would much rather face a squadron of enemy ships than keep doing this for another day, yet alone, the two time cycles I have to go to finish my tour of duty. I just wish something interesting would happen to liven up this dull duty._

_Best of luck always,_

_Ten'Lav_

_P.S. You are right Dacht'his is an insufferable know -it- all that has managed to alienate every member of the crew. He is currently sulking in his cabin after I had to chew him out for arrogance above and beyond the call of duty. It may be unpatriotic, but, I find myself wishing he gets his comeuppance somehow. _

_Yours,_

_Ten_

Captain Ten'Lav sat in the command chair of his latest post of duty and considered the blue planet on the main screen before him, slowly turning beneath his ship, with the jaded eye of the seasoned traveler who had seen too many new planets and too many unusual sights ever to be truly surprised at what he found. With a sigh he turned to his duties.

"Alert the transporter room to prepare for operation as soon as suitable targets can be located." He commanded.

Lake Middleton Late evening:

At the edge of the lake sat a standard Global Justice two person hovercraft. In it sat the two teens known all across the world as Team Possible. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable had just finished up a difficult mission and Dr. Director had allowed the teens to borrow the hovercraft to return home with. It had been Kim's idea to divert to the lake for a late night make out session. Once Kim mentioned it to Ron, with him calling the 'rents to let them know where they were, she happily changed course toward the lake.

It was an odd looking couple that snuggled in the wide bench seat of the craft. Kim was dressed in her blue and white battle suit and Ron was in his standard grey cargos and black top.

"Ron, you never told me how you became such a spankin' good kisser." Kim questioned as she paused for air after a long and deep kiss with her BF.

"Practice KP, lots and lots of practice with my badical GF." Ron replied looking into her beautiful green eyes.

"Well they say practice makes perfect." Kim replied breathlessly as she looked into her boyfriends chocolate brown eyes and pulled him down into another deep kiss.

**In high orbit above the planet….**

"Sir, we have located two suitable targets next to a large body of water. They are alone and conform to all mission requirements." The Transporter Tech reported to his superior.

"Very well, lock on targets prepare to engage transport."

"Captain, we have locked on two suitable targets and await your order to proceed." announced the Transporter Chief over the ships communication net.

"Very well Chief engage when ready." Replied the Captain

"Transport." commanded the Chief.

"Aye Sir, transporting now."

**Lake Middleton…..**

If there was one thing Ron Stoppable like better than kissing Kim Possible it was just holding her. All those years as best friends, all the snuggling on those long, cold flights to far away lands when they huddled just for the shared heat took on added meaning now.

Holding her light but strong body against him, feeling her heart pumping as she snuggled,

running his hands through her flippy hair was as intoxicating as the strongest drink. He never closed his eyes when he kissed Kim like other guys said they did with their girlfriends. He wanted to drink in a sight few people could lay claim to Kim up close. The faint spread of freckles across her nose that she hated and covered with make-up even though he said they looked cute on her. Those eyes, the most expressive eyes. green eyes….green….huh?

Ron broke off the kiss and began to look around him leaving a startled Kim gasping for air.

"Ron…What…?"

"Kim does it look awfully green around here?" Ron asked releasing Kim to sit up.

"Green….What….Wait it is awfully green around here .What's the sitch?" Kim asks as she looks around.

Kim and Ron look at each other and are shocked to see what appears to be the other one dissolving.

"Kim….."

"Ron…"

The green transporter beam winks off leaving a deserted hovercraft sitting abandoned along the shores of a large lake.

**In high orbit above the planet…….**

"Transport complete Captain. The test subjects have been delivered to the examination rooms as per protocol. All readings are normal"

"Very well," acknowledged the Captain. Pressing a control on his command chair he contacted the head of the science department's office. "Mr. Hanzar'Aq your subjects have been delivered to the examination rooms and have been secured."

"Thank you Captain." The head scientist replied with barely suppressed excitement. "We'll get right on it."

"Acknowledged, Captain Out." Replied Ten has he pressed the control that cut communications. Ten shook his head slowly. They may be some of the finest minds in the galaxy but, Captain Ten'Lav got the shivers every time he had to work with those little grey people with the big black eyes. They just took such joy in the work. He even wondered if they ever thought about what they did to their subjects in the name of science. Oh sure it left no lasting harm to the test subjects, but still, he shuddered, he couldn't understand for the life of him why they had to do those anal probes!

The Captain looked around his bridge and nodded in satisfaction. They were a good crew, doing a hard job, under trying circumstances. He noticed the polished professionalism they displayed going about their assigned tasks. I could do worse, he mused, too bad they won't see any real action this time out.

Sensei, the master of the Yamanuchi School., had once explained to Yori, and some of the other advanced students, just why Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable were such an effective team.

"They are the perfect example of balance, the living proof of Yin and Yang, chaos and order, creation and destruction, children of both science and magic. Apart they are less than they can be, together they are more than they can imagine."

Examination Room One was located deep in the bowels of the Destroyer FarSeeker. A Red haired, green eyed, one hundred and five pound, senior head cheerleader was secured to a table. Her body was covered by the most sophisticated example of a cybernetic battle system ever created on the planet. In the pouch that hung on her right side sat some of the most unique tools ever imagined. All created by a twelve year child who was smarter than ninety-nine percent of the people on the planet.

Examination Room Two was located just a short distance away. In it a blonde haired, brown eyed, one hundred seventy five pound senior running back, floated approximately one foot above the table that had secured him, glowing with a blue light and with what appeared to be a Japanese Katana strapped to his back.

Ten'Lav, Captain of FarSeeker. Head of Clan Lav. Order of the Imperium First Class. Sept of Kath' less. Defender of Homespace. Sat in his command chair and watched his crew perform their assigned tasks. Had he been a superstitious person he would have felt a cold trickle creeping up his back. If he was a religious person he would have prayed to any god that might consent to listen to him. Unfortunately he was an ignorant person so he went about his duties unaware of the chaos that was about to happen to his ship, his crew, and himself. By the time his adventure was over he could fully understand, if he had been aware of it, a trinity of old Chinese curses: 'May you live in interesting times. May you come to the attention of those in authority, May you find what you are looking for.'

As Kim and Ron slept off the effects of the tranquilizing mist that had overcome them as they were transported to the ship in orbit, two sets of conversations were taking place on the planet below.

**Possible Household, Middleton **

Dr. Anne Possible answered her cell phone that was ringing in her pocket. On the other end a distraught Wade Load asked frantically.

"Dr. Possible, are Kim and Ron there?"

"No, I believe they are out at Middleton Lake, probably necking, and thinking I don't know about it. Why?"

"I can't get the Kimmunicator on line. I not getting any signal at all and their tracking chips aren't working either."

"You have Kim chipped? Does she know about it?"

"Well she knows about Ron's. It never came up about hers."

"And you didn't bother to tell her either did you?" Anne asked with a growl.

"Dr. Possible they go all over the world how else am I supposed to help them if I don't have a way to track them?"

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea Wade, I just think you should tell them and let them make up their own minds about it. Now why are you in such a hurry to find them? Is something wrong?"

"There may be, I'm not sure."

"Explain please."

"Do you remember how the first battle suit was shorted out by Synthodrone 901?"

"Yes."

"Well I improved the next one with better shielding so that couldn't happen again. Then Ron borrowed it to get on the football team, Dementor managed to get control of it, then Kim's cousin Larry wore it. Mrs. Possible that suit is too dangerous for untrained people to use, so I improved the one Kim has so that no one but her could use it."

"Again that sounds like a good idea, why are you worried?"

"I covered the entire inside of the suit with thousands of neural interfaces, so that it connects electrically to Kim's nervous system. There is a three point reference that has to be implemented so that the systems can come on line."

"And those are?" Anne asked, beginning to get worried.

"The three are Neural, DNA, and Brain Wave scans. All three must match in order for the suit functions to come on line. Anything less than all three and it's just a one-piece suit that looks different and is insulated."

"Are you saying that this suit can physically connect to Kim's nervous system? What happens if she can't take it off? Is she stuck with it on forever? What about feedback, does an injury to the suit cause Kim pain like it was her own flesh?" Anne was almost shouting at the tech genius now.

"Mrs. Possible please, I thought about all that before I ever built the suit. It's connected electrically not physically; Kim can take it off whenever she wants. It uses the electrochemical functions of the nervous system in the skin cells. It has no pain receptors so it can't feel pain. What I didn't expect was that the suit may be modifying itself to Kim better than I designed it."

Dr. Anne Possible could feel a headache forming in the back areas of her brain as she tried to digest just what this young boy was saying.

"Just how is the suit modifying itself?"

"Kim has been reporting some glitches in the suit operations, nothing serious, just odd occurrences that the suit has been displaying. At first I thought it might be just the normal problems that any new tech displays when you go from the lab to the field. But, I begin to run some virtual simulations on what happened, where, and under what conditions. The suit went into stealth mode when Kim was trying to avoid some reporters. It went into shield mode when Ron was annoying her. The grapple fired when she was trying to avoid some fans. Kim swears that she didn't activate any of the functions herself. I think that the suit maybe reacting to Kim's unconscious desires. The suit, may be adjusting itself to comply with any thing it interprets Kim wants done."

"Are you telling me that suit can think?"

"No ma'am, but the processors in the circuitry are the most advanced on the planet. It can't think but it can process information so fast it might be mistaken for a rudimentary intelligence. It can literally act at the speed of thought."

"What do we do now…?"

"We find Kim, let me examine the suit and run tests on it to be sure it's acting the way I designed it to."

"This means we have to find Kimmie as fast as we can…."

"Exactly."

**The ****Yamanuchi School, Japan**

"The essence of magic is deceit." Sensei explained to his students this night. 'The first deceit is that the magician must fool nature into doing something it would not normally allow. This involves the magician using his abilities in a carefully controlled way to chance any outcome into a result he desires. The second deceit is that the magician fools himself into thinking that he can foresee all the changes that his manipulations will allow. This is especially true of the Mystical Monkey Power, it personifies the chaos of the universe and the randomness of the primates it is named after. Any one practicing this magic must keep careful control over the forces they work with or disaster will follow."

Wade had been right about Kim's battle suit not being intelligent, it couldn't think, only do what it was commanded to do by the user. However that didn't stop Kim's brain from finding the proper pathways to access the suits functions on an instinctual level. The logical side of her mind ran through all suits functions and determined the proper commands for proper operations. The emotional side of her mind decided that the suit didn't have any offensive weapons, which had been left out by Wade at the insistence of Kim, and did something about it by absorbing the pouch hanging on the right side of her suit and integrating all of the gadgets Wade had made into the suit proper. With both offensive and defensive systems ready and on-line the fully integrated Mark 3 Battle Suit awaited its mistress's commands.

Just down the hall Ron's Mystical Monkey Power was having an almost similar effect on its user. The MMP was different from the battle suit in several ways; it was a force of nature, the living example of the chaos of the universe. It also was, in its own way, intelligent. It was able to indirectly influence the wielder of the power in subtle ways. It was, by its very nature, destructive. Chaos seeks to destroy order whenever it finds it. It should be no surprise then that Ron's MMP was radiating from his body like a small blue sun, seeking out the ships computer systems and attacking them like a hungry Ron would a plate of nachos.

Kim and Ron began to wake up. Kim with a slight headache and a fully realized battle suit, possessing capabilities she wasn't fully aware of. Ron with a huge grin from a fading dream about Kim and a silk nightgown, his MMP racing through the computer systems of the large star ship on the microprocessor level rewriting code as it went.

And Sensei was correct. "The essence of magic is deceit."

TBC


	2. Awakenings

May you live in interesting times

**Disclaimer **I don't own anything but the idea in the following story. Disney still owns Kim, Ron and most of the universe. (For some reason they are hanging on to Pluto.)

**Thanks to Samurai Crunchbird, LTAOZFAN, That Swedish guy, Spectre 666 and CajunBear73 for reviewing Thanks to all that read but didn't review as well.** (And why didn't you review, may I ask?)

I do hope to update in a timely manner and not leave you hanging for a long time.

**Much thanks to CajunBear 73 for a great beta read and pointing out when I screw up. You Rock!!**

Please Read and leave a Review it helps, really. You don't know when you mess up until someone points it out to you. Then you slap yourself on the forehead and wonder, "How did I miss that?"

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**May you live in interesting times**. Chinese curse

**Victory Unintentional**

**Chapter** **2:**

Awakenings

Kim awoke with a slight headache and the odd feeling that she couldn't move. Craning her head up as far as she could she realized that the reason she couldn't move was because she was strapped down to what appeared to be some sort of examination table in a spread X pattern. She continued to survey the room she found herself in. Bare walls of what appeared to be stainless steel reflected her image back to her. No doors, windows, no ornamentation at all as far as she could see. Looking up she spied what looked like several instruments hanging from the ceiling.

Looks like your standard villain death trap, keep the hero from getting away place to me. She thought with a sigh. I need to get out of here and find Ron before something bad happens to us

. Just how did I get her anyway? The last thing I remember I was kissing Ron….the green light….. Poof… here. Wherever is here anyway?

At least they left me in my suit. Either they don't know what it can do or they don't care.

Kim struggled to test her bonds. Finding them tight, with very little room to move, she stopped to rest a bit. She relaxed for a minute and then threw all her weight against the straps. Nothing happened for a minute, and as Kim threw herself against her restraints, her suit responded to her desire to be free by activating the shield mode and shattering the straps.

Spankin', I didn't know I could do that! You rock Wade!

Quickly getting off the table, she brings her wrist Kimmunicator up to try to contact Wade, Ron or anybody for that matter. The small screen is dark with just her KP logo showing on the face.

Great, I guess no communication with anybody, anytime soon. I wonder where Ron is and what he's up to.

**Ron**

Ron Stoppable was a short walk just down the hallway, and to the left of where Kim was being held.

Like Kim he is just wakening. Unlike Kim he has a large smile on his face. The product of a very interesting dream regarding is GF and a skimpy piece of nightwear.

'Man, what a dream. I have got to get Kim some clothing like that some day. Just don't let Mr. Dr. P see it or its black hole time for sure.'

Ron starts to look around the room where he is being captive and notices that he is floating about a foot above the table that had held him for a while.

'Coolio, Mystical Monkey Power rocks!'

Ron then drops down to sit on the table and take stock of the 'sitch', as Kim calls it.

Where Kim's room was all bright and shiny with no features to catch the eye, Ron's was just the opposite. Dull, cracked panels covered the walls, with gaps in them that allowed Ron to see the circuitry hidden behind them. The door panel, which was hidden from Kim, stood out in stark relief against its surroundings. Circuits popped and the smell of burning insulation was heavy in the air.

'It looks like someone set off a bomb in here. I wonder what happened.'

What had happened was Ron himself. His Mystical Monkey Power had run unchecked during the time he was having his sweet dreams about his GF. The chaos power of the MMP had reacted with the alien technology and the technology had lost, badly.

Ron assumed the Lotus position, as Sensei had taught him, and concentrated to reduce the blue glow that surrounded him. Once he had control of it he unfolded his legs, got up off the table, and just walked out the door that had opened for him as he got near it. He looked out into the hallway, made a decision, and in true Ron Stoppable fashion, started

to walk in the opposite direction of where his GF was being held.

'Wherever you are Kim I coming to find you. I promise you that.'

**Kim**

Kim Possible was going over every inch of her prison, in the hopes of finding a way out. It was hopeless. If there was any door opening in these walls she had yet to find it despite going over the walls several times.

Imagine her surprise when a seam began to form down the length of the wall she was standing by. Kim readied herself as the hidden door opened wider and a small figure started to walk in.

Kim grabbed the figure as it entered, picked it up and slammed it down on the table she had been held captive on. The table extruded the same type of shackles that had held Kim over the figure's arms and legs pulling it into the same position Kim had been when she had awakened earlier.

She was about to question her captive when she realized just what she had caught. Not human was the first thing she decided. It was small, only about four feet tall. And the eyes were large, totally black, with no pupils whatsoever. Even on the alien face Kim could see that it was terrified.

"Do you speak English?" Kim demanded

"(It's going to kill me!)" The alien wailed.

"Where am I?"

"(Oh great Maker receive me into paradise!)"

"What have you done with Ron?" Kim screamed into the aliens face as she grabbed the front of the uniform and pulled it as far up as the restraints would allow.

"(AHHHH! It's going to eat me!!)" The alien screamed.

"Oh forget it!" Kim screamed as she dropped the alien down on the table. With a wary eye Kim scouted the outside hallway for any other surprises. Then without a backward glance toward the now restrained alien she departed her temporary lodging, looking for her BF and getting seriously tweaked along the way.

"Kidnap me will you?" She fumed as she ran down the hallway. "Ruin my weekend? Make me go without my Ronshine? I DON'T THINK SO!! Somebody is going to pay and pay big time!"

The crew of the FarSeeker was about to learn what the bullies at pre-k had learned at the age of four, and what Ron Stoppable had learned at the age of five.

Never get a redhead mad, especially if that redhead was named Kimberly Anne Possible.

Rehsup'Lip, the now restrained alien medical technician, was, at first, relieved when the frightening alien had left. She (yeah it's a girl) had been positive that the earth female was going to eat her. Despite what people said about that particular story was just a tale to frighten small children. They had never been that close to one in the fury she had seen.

Right now she was willing to believe almost anything about those humans you would care to tell her.

As she tried to get out of the restraints that held her, she heard a noise above her.

Rehsup'Lip looked up in horror as the automated sequence of the medical tests she was planning to run on the earth female started up. With a careful precision that was the hallmark of it designers, a small laser began cutting the medical technician's uniform off in preparation for the insertion of the various probes used to study the bodily functions of the humans.

As the probes slowly were inserted into their various orifices (Isn't she lucky that human and the gray technician's body structure are similar?) Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip reflected that she was one of the few on the medical staff who had complained loudly, and with great frequency, that the probes were not necessary and should be discontinued. As the machine went through its automated sequences, the Med Tech might not know the earth word, but, she was becoming quite familiar with the concept of irony.

**Ron**

Ron was confused as he ran down the endless corridors of the FarSeeker. Where is everybody anyway? It was like the whole world consisted of nothing but pale blue and white walls with an occasional door popping up now and then.

When Ron turned a corner he came face to face (sort of) to his first alien. They were tall, easily over eight feet tall, and looked as human as him except for two things. The first was the color; it was a mixture of blue and green. Like Drakken and Shego had kids. (euuuuh get that image out of your head Stoppable!!)

The second was the hair, or what looked like hair, it was a strip that ran right down the top of the skull from front to back. Like a Mohawk, but fluffier. They were dressed in uniforms that looked a lot like Global Justice uniforms, but, with a lot more decorations.

Ron didn't hesitate. He slid between the legs of the closest alien to him and ran down another corridor to the cries of…...

"(What was that?)"

"(Call security!)"

"(Inform the Captain that one of the earth creatures has escaped.)"

Oh snap Toto, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore. Ron thought as he ran away from the populated corridor. Where the heck is Kim anyway?

**Kim**

Kim was running down corridors of her own. Unlike Ron, however, she was not having any trouble at all in finding the crew of the ship. They seemed to be everywhere and were pretty intent on trying to catch her. She had already had a few brief battles with crew members who wanted to be heroes. She had discouraged them with a pair of rods she pried off a fixture a few corridors back. Kim might be small compared to humans and downright tiny compared to these monsters, but, she had years of martial arts training, better than four years of combat experience and a couple of rods that made great Escrima Sticks. They never knew what hit them.

Kim ducked into a room that appeared to be empty, sat down to catch her breath on what appeared to be a chair and pondered: 'How to find Ron? This ship has to be enormous and he could be anywhere. Are they still near Earth? If not, how to get home?' For a moment she considered feeling sorry for herself but stopped. It had never helped before and she was willing to bet that it wouldn't help now either. 'Think Possible how do you find one human in a ship full of aliens?'

She stared at her wrist Kimmunicator a few minutes then suddenly hit herself on the forehead with the heel of her palm.

'Foolish girl, the answer was right there on your wrist all along. The Kimmunicator might not be able to contact Wade but I bet it can track Ron and his chip!'

Kim made a few adjustments on her wrist unit and turned it on. Almost immediately a small blip appeared on the screen with a direction locator beside it. Kim checked it to make sure it wasn't hers that was registering. Kim had figured out a long time ago that if Ron was chipped then she probably had one too. She just never told Wade about her discovery. After all a girl has to keep some secrets doesn't she? 'All right Ron I know where you are now let's find you.'

**Ron**

Ron finally lost the crew members that had been chasing him for what seemed like forever. He came to rest leaning against one of the doors that lined the corridor.

He was surprised when seconds later, the door opened for him. He looked inside for a minute then went into the room trying to find a place to rest for a moment. Inside he found the holy land for Ron Stoppable: buttons, levers, and bright lights, hundreds of bright lights. With a grin that would have shamed the goofiest person, and his face lit up with childlike wonder. Ron Stoppable accepted his calling and went forth for do battle with his old enemy: curiosity.

If Ron had been able to read the sign that was attached to the outside wall. He might have known that the room he had entered was auxiliary control. The one room that should have been guarded at all times was left alone because security didn't believe that anyone would actually do what Ron Stoppable was about to do.

The carnage was magnificent, the Mystical Monkey Power would have been proud.

**The Bridge**

"Captain we are getting multiple reports that the two humans have escaped their confinement and are rampaging on Deck 37, Sir." The ship's Security Officer looked like he had eaten about three dozen prunes early this morning for breakfast and the effects were just now starting to show up as he said that.

"Rampaging Lieutenant? Isn't that a pretty strong word? What are the reports saying?"

The Captain inquired mildly.

"Reports are the red headed female has assaulted about seventeen crewmembers in the corridors Sir."

"Seventeen crewmembers were assaulted by that slip of a human? What kind of weapon did it have to do so much damage?"

"According to reports it had sticks Sir."

"Sticks, Lieutenant?"

"Yes Sir, apparently it pulled a couple of rods down from a stairwell wall and has been using them as weapons."

"Also Sir, we have lost the male human as well."

"Where is it, anywhere near the female?"

"No Sir, It was spotted on the far side of Deck 37. It hasn't done any damage, just a lot of screaming and running. It has frightened about twelve crewmembers with the loud noises it is making."

"I think that we should leave this to the professionals Lieutenant."

Turing to his command chair Captain Ten'Lav activated the ship intercom system and called out.

"WarLeader Dacht'His please report to the bridge."

As the Captain was calling out for additional help a mechanical voice filled the bridge.

**Red Alert…..Red Alert…. Multiple Systems failure…… Red Alert………..**

**Examination Room One**

Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip had been glad when the alarm warnings had gone off. Standard procedure for ship's personnel was to monitor all ongoing experiments and to terminate them if any ship wide emergency happened. She could get off this table and maybe recover a little of her dignity. That exam had to be the most embarrassing ordeal she had ever been associated with. And that anal probe! If she ever found out whose idea that was she would personally show them how it felt to be subjected to one.

'Lubricated for easy use my backside!' She groused. 'I'll show them lubrication.'

She rejoiced when she heard the door open up. However, no one came in and the door quietly shut again.

Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip reflected upon the possible fate, much of it included blunt objects and small openings, of whoever had opened that door without doing a thorough search, when she heard a disturbing noise overhead.

The equipment began to move toward her and she realized that the automatic cut-off wasn't working. Whoever had opened the door had started the exam sequence again.

Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip stared in horror as the machine began to lower its various probes and proceeded to re-run the test it had just completed a short time ago.

Crewmembers as far away as six decks in any direction were subjected to the most powerful scream that was ever their misfortune to hear, and the cursing was most inventive as well. Several actually took notes. Due to the emergency, however, no one bothered to investigate

TBC


	3. Hide and Seek

May you come to the attention of those in authority

**Disclaimer **I don't own anything but the idea in the following story. Disney still owns Kim, Ron and most of the universe. (For some reason they are hanging on to Pluto.)

_**Star Trek copyright by Paramount Pictures **_

_**The History Channel copyright by, well I don't know, but not me.**_

**Thanks to Samurai Crunchbird, LTAOZFAN, Comet Moon, DragOnf1y and CajunBear73 for reviewing Thanks to all that read but didn't review as well.** (And why didn't you review, may I ask?)

I do hope to update in a timely manner and not leave you hanging for a long time.

**Much thanks to CajunBear 73 for a great beta read and pointing out when I screw up. You Rock Again !!**

Please Read and leave a Review it helps, really. You don't know when you mess up until someone points it out to you. Then you slap yourself on the forehead and wonder, "How did I miss that?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**May you come to the attention of those in authority. **Chinese curse

**Victory Unintentional **

**Chapter 3:**

Hide and Seek

**Bridge**

**Red Alert…..Red Alert…. Multiple Systems failure…… Red Alert………..**

Captain Ten'Lav looked up from his communication board in shock as the mechanical voice began to call out its warning.

"Damage Control Report!" The Captain barked.

"Sir, readings from all stations indicate a massive disruption of the bridge controls. All primary functions are being re-routed to Auxiliary Control. All secondary controls are being shut down or being taken completely offline." the Damage Control Officer reported."

"Sir, these reading don't make any sense. It is as if every control feature in Auxiliary Control was being randomly operated at once." the Systems Officer chimed in.

"Can we reroute system controls back to the bridge?" asked the Captain.

"Rerouting systems now Captain. Establishing primary controls and locking out

Auxiliary Control. Engaging security protocol Beta." the Damage Control Officer reported. "All systems are now back in main bridge control."

"Very good.", Captain Ten'Lav replied as the mechanical warning voice cut off in mid shriek. "Somebody get down to Auxiliary Control and find out just what happened down there."

The Systems Officer left the Bridge to be replaced by the WarLeader that the Captain had requested before the major emergency had started.

"WarLeader Dacht'His reporting as ordered Captain." The WarLeader completed the reporting ritual by placing his right palm over his heart.

"Thank you WarLeader.", the Captain replied, mimicking his gesture. "I have a little job for some of your people."

Ten'Lav had to admit the WarLeader cut a dashing figure, with his burnished armor and war crest fluffed up to ridiculous heights; his medals, commendations and all. Too bad he was such an arrogant twit who couldn't see that other people had good ideas too.

"It appears that our human test subjects have escaped and now are 'rampaging', according to my Security Chief, all over Deck 37. Would you be so kind to dispatch a squad of WarriorPrimes to fetch them back?"

"Captain I hardly think it will take a squad of the galaxy's finest warriors to capture the humans. Perhaps two would suffice."

"I warn you not to take this lightly WarLeader, The female has already disabled seventeen of my crew with just her bare hands and some rods she managed to scavenge."

"With all due respect Captain, they are amateurs in combat situations. You can't expect me to base my decision on what ill-trained people say."

Captain Ten'Lav watched out of the corner of his eye as his Security Chief started to turn an amazing shade of purple as the WarLeader casually dismissed his men.

"No WarLeader", replied Ten'Lav with a hint of steel in his voice, "I expect you to follow the orders of the Captain of this vessel. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal, Sir.", the WarLeader growled.

"Thank you WarLeader that will be all." Ten'Lav dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

"Yes Sir." The WarLeader turned to go when he was stopped by the Captain again.

"Remember WarLeader, capture only. No lethal weapons what-so-ever. You capture these subjects in as good as health as possible. Remember 'Standing Order One': 'No test subjects are to be harmed before, during or after examination'. Failure to comply with this rule will bring swift punishment. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Sir, capture only."

"Very well, you are dismissed."

As the WarLeader left the bridge several people closest to the Captain heard him mutter.

"Arrogant fool!"

WarLeader Dacht'His was in a foul mood when he boarded the transport tube down to his office. "Stupid old fool.", he steamed, "Send a squad to retrieve two humans. The nerve of him to question my judgment. This whole operation would go much more smoothly if I were running it."

"Officer of the Watch!", Dacht'His barked into his hand communicator.

"Officer of the Watch." replied an unseen voice. "What can I do for you WarLeader?"

"Contact Squad Leader Gnoht'Pid and tell him that the Captain wants him and his squad to round up a couple of humans that are running amok on Deck 37."

"Twenty four WarriorPrimes to capture two humans, isn't that overkill Sir?" the officer

questioned.

"Captains orders!", he snarled. "And make sure that they don't bruise them either. If the Captain skins me for any harm that comes to these two, you tell the squad leader I'll disembowel him."

"Yes Sir! I am transmitting his orders now.

"Good, Dacht'His out." 'Well that's one less thing I have to worry about', he mused.

**Someone once said. "Man plans and God laughs." Somewhere, out there, among the stars, wherever you believe that a supreme being, or beings, might hang out, there must be a belly laugh of monumental proportions going on right now. **

**Kim**

Kim Possible had been running down what seemed to her endless corridors for the last twenty minutes, fighting a series of skirmishes with crewmembers and security people alike.

She broke into a huge grin when the warning signals had gone off all over the ship.

She had no doubt, what-so-ever, that somehow Ron was behind it. 'That's my guy' Kim thought proudly. 'Now just let me catch up to him'.

Kim rounded a corner and stopped. Standing in front of her were twenty four of the biggest people she had ever seen. They were dressed in what appeared to be a cross between the storm trooper armor from _Star Wars_ and Roman Armor from _The History Channel._ Each one was carrying, what appeared to be, extra large versions of the shock sticks that Drakken's goons always carried.

They were spread out, completely filling the space between her and where her Kimmunicator told her Ron was. They looked professional and confident of an easy victory.

"(Surrender Now!)" The one in front called out to her. She assumed he was the leader

"(If you surrender now it will go easier on you.)"

Kim gathered herself and began twirling her makeshift Escrima sticks in each hand.

"I don't know who you are or why you're here but, you are between me and Ron. If I

were you I'd get out of my way now!"

With that Kim launched herself at the squad and the battle was joined.

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Forty five minutes later Kim was running down the corridor that, until a short time ago, was blocked by twenty four WarriorPrimes.

"Thanks for the workout," Kim called out as she ran up the corridor blushing in remembrance of what she had just done to them. "We have to do it again real soon"

**The Bridge**

"Sir, we have a report about that squad that was sent to capture the humans." The ship's Second-in-Command reported.

"Very well, report please."

"Captain, I am outside Recreation Room Three. Gnoht'Bid and his squad are inside. They won't let me in.", the aide that the Captain sent to find out the progress of the capture, reported.

"Won't let you in? What are you talking about, won't let you in?"

"They say that they are too embarrassed to open the door."

"Why are they embarrassed may I ask?" The Captain replied with the hint of a smile.

"They say they are nude, Sir."

"Nude, how did they ….wait how did they lose their clothing?"

"They say the earth female took them."

"Are they telling me that the earth female took all their clothing?"

"Yes Sir."

"Ok, how did the earth female take their clothing?"

"Sir, they say the female made them take their clothing off and then she …..burned them

Sir."

"Should I ask how it made them take off their clothing in the first place?"

"They say the female…..beat them up Sir."

"Are you telling me that twenty four of the finest warriors of the galaxy were forced to strip out of all their clothing because an earth female 'beat them up'?" The Captain asked in a pained voice while holding the bridge of his nose."Are there any injuries?"

"They report lots of bumps, bruises, and more than a few broken bones, but, nothing major."

"Did they do anything to the female perhaps?"

"They report they did break the rods she was using as weapons Sir."

"Wonderful! Did they explain how they accomplished this outstanding feat of combat skills?" Ten'Lav asked while massaging his forehead.

"The female broke them over the Squad Leader's head sir."

"Well at least the female is unarmed now.", Ten'Lav commented.

"Not really sir, the squad reports that after they stripped the female destroyed all the

weapons, clothing and armor with…..a ...uh… laser in the female's finger."

"The female has a laser in its finger, is that what they are trying to say?"

"Well it may not be in its finger sir, it does wear that strange clothing. Maybe it's in there..?"

The Captain turned to his Second-In-Command and said:

"Please inform the WarLeader where he can find his missing squad and then see if we can track this most irritating earth female."

"Yes Sir." His second answered

"Tell me", Ten'Lav asked to on one in particular, "do we have any idea where the male human is?"

**Ron**

Ron had a ball in Auxiliary Control. He couldn't have been happier if he an unlimited expense account at Bueno Nacho for the rest of his natural life. The trouble was he knew sooner or later someone would come along and spoil the fun. It was past time to find Kim and get out of this place as soon as possible.

Ron was running down a corridor when he noticed an open door. Thinking quickly, well for Ron anyway, he entered the room, closed the door and looked around.

Now it should be stated that what Ron did next wasn't entirely his fault.

After all it looked like what he was about to use it for. It had, almost the same shape, it was the right height from the floor. And, when he dropped some loose things down it, they were sucked away.

It perfectly reasonable to assume that it was for what he was about to use it for. After all it had been hours since he and Kim had been called out on that mission and he had a super-sized Slupster after they were done. And then there was the (way too short) make out session by the lake.

A guy could only hold out for so long before you just had to relieve the pressure. So Ron paused to relieve the pressure in his bladder, little knowing that what he was relieving himself into was, in fact, a refill intake for a very unstable and pure mixture that kept the plasma in the reactors cool and ensured that they didn't overheat and blow up the ship.

While Kim was tracking down her misplaced boyfriend, humiliating a squad of the Empire's finest and Ron was relieving himself in a wholly inappropriate container, the chaotic force that was the Mystical Monkey Power had, at last, made it to the central processing core of the starships mainframe. The mainframe never had a chance.

I did mention, didn't I, that the Mystical Monkey Power was different from the battle suit in several ways? It was a force of nature, the living example of the chaos of the universe. It also was, in its own way, intelligent. It was able to indirectly influence the wielder of the power in subtle ways. It was, by its very nature, destructive. Chaos seeks to destroy order whenever it finds it. It would seek out the ships computer systems and attack them like a hungry Ron would a plate of nachos?

Because all that, being said, it still didn't prepare anyone for the chaos that was about to take place aboard this ship parked in a high orbit, around a small world in the backwater reaches of the Milky Way Galaxy. This ship would have the greatest misfortune known to any intelligent race in the universe fall upon it. It didn't matter that it was the representative of a star spanning empire that had lasted over one hundred human years. It was irrelevant that the crew were trained professionals who thought they had seen everything the galaxy could throw at them. This ship was about to endure some of the most trying times ever visited on any intelligent beings because it's Captain had to pick, of all the people on the planet Earth, two teenagers from Middleton, Colorado who were known as Team Possible.

The chaos that was the Mystical Monkey Power was about to prove that not only was it aware and had a kind of intelligence, but, it had a weird sense of humor as well.

**The Bridge**

"Captain I have multiple failures across the board. Whole systems are shutting down and rebooting themselves. When they come back online I can't access the system protocols." the Systems Officer reported.

"Captain I have a contamination warning on the Plasma Cooling system. There is an unknown substance that is reducing the cooling effectiveness by fifty percent." the Damage Control Officer reported.

"Captain I have multiple reports of cascading failures all over the ship." the Systems Officer reported.

"Captain I have reports of all Offensive Weapons systems coming online." the Weapons Officer reported.

**WarLeader Dacht'His office**

"Squad Captain Epiw'Ssa, you are to take your squad and capture that infuriating human female that made me look like an incompetent fool. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"

"YES, SIR!"

"Do whatever it takes I want it found now!"

"Yes,Sir!"

"Good now take your squad and go!"

**Bridge**

**Red Alert…..Red Alert…. Multiple Systems failure…… Red Alert………..**

_In the One Hundred and Twenty Third year of the Empire, the Destroyer Faithless met a squadron of Lowardian ships in a distant sector of space. The Lowardian squadron consisted of three battleships, six frigates, and several screening vessels. The battle lasted seventy-two earth hours and was decided when the attacking vessels withdrew from the field of battle. In that one battle the Destroyer Faithless suffered the greatest damage that any vessel had in the service of the Empire._

This fact is known to everyone in the empire. It is repeated as often and with as much reverence as any battle story on Earth that glorifies a victory over impossible odds.The other side of the story, the Lowardian side, is never mentioned or discussed. It is perhaps, the ultimate irony of this adventure that Captain Ten'lav of the Destroyer FarSeeker would know exactly how the Captain of the Lowardian squadron felt.

As Team Possible ran unchecked through the great star ship they were unaware of the battle with the Lowardians. They would be surprised that by the time their little adventure was over, Team Possible would not only do more to damage both the ship and the morale of the crew than was done in that battle, but, they would do it a bit faster than that squadron of battleships had done so previously: Sixty-six hours and fifteen minutes faster.

All in all it was a record to be proud of.

TBC


	4. Bathroom Breaks

May you find what you are looking for

**Disclaimer **I don't own anything but the idea in the following story. Disney still owns Kim, Ron and most of the universe

**Thanks to Spectre 666, Samurai Crunchbird, LTAOZFAN, Comet Moon, DragOnf1y, James W., noncynic and CajunBear73 for reviewing. Thanks to all that read but didn't review as well.** (And why didn't you review, may I ask?)

I do hope to update in a timely manner and not leave you hanging for a long time.

**Much thanks to CajunBear 73 for a great beta read and pointing out when I screw up. You Rock in stereo!!**

Please Read and leave a Review it helps, really. You don't know when you mess up until someone points it out to you. Then you slap yourself on the forehead and wonder, "How did I miss that?"

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**May you find what you are looking for.**Chinese curse

**Victory Unintentional**

Chapter 4

Bathroom Breaks

**Bridge**

**Red Alert…..Red Alert…. Multiple Systems Failure…… Red Alert………..**

Captain Ten'Lav looked up as the mechanical voice began sounding its strident message one more time.

"Can you isolate the infected systems and disconnect them from the main board?" the Captain asked.

"I'm trying to Sir, but its spreading too fast. It is as if the whole system is being infected at the same time. That's supposed to be impossible!" the Systems Officer replied with some heat.

The Captain ignored the suppressed anger in the reply and continued with his assessment of the situation.

"Purge the liquid in the plasma cooling ducts and replace with fresh liquid, cut all power to non-essential areas. Get that temperature down NOW, before we blow up!"

"Cutting all non-essential power, venting coolant now." the Damage Control Officer reported.

"Weapons Officer get down to the armory and deactivate all weapons manually if you have to." the Captain ordered.

"Systems Officer, what about those cascading failures?"

"The rate of change is slowing down sir, but, it's still happening so fast that it's hard to keep up with it.", he replied.

"Do we have any idea what caused all this damage? Anyone?" the Captain questioned.

The confused looks on his bridge crew was answer enough for him.

**Ron**

Ron had made an amazing discovery in the last few minutes. He had stopped for a second to catch his breath in a deserted corridor. He was just wiping some sweat from his eyes with his mission gloves off, and had put his bare hand against the wall.

The shock he received was amazing. It was almost as if he could feel the ship pulse around him. He closed his eyes and concentrated as he had been taught at Yamanuchi.

He felt the ship around him, pulsing with energy; he was able to actually see the pathways the electrons followed and their destinations. The whole ships functions were open to him.

Ron smiled and sent an order. The results were amazing to behold.

**Bridge**

"Sir, starboard stabilizers have dropped off line, and port thrusters are firing at full thrust." reported the helmsman with some uneasiness in his voice.

"Can you shut it down?"

"Negative sir."

"Brace yourself people we're going on a roll." the Captain called out as the great ship begin to tilt as it started to turn along it long axis."

**Ron **

When the great ship had begun to roll up over him Ron lost contact with the ship and systems begin to come back on line. Unfortunately multimillion ton starships don't stop on a dime. It took sixteen revolutions before the frazzled bridge crew could regain control and bring the ship around to its normal sailing position.

After that thrilling ride there were only two people who weren't either busy up-chucking all over the decks or dizzy beyond belief: Kim and Ron.

Ron had escaped the crew's fate by using his MMP to float in the middle of the corridor as the ship rotated around him. Kim had been able to grab a protrusion in the wall and hang on for dear life until the rotating had stopped.

Having combat trained reflexes can be helpful in a strange sitch.

**Bridge**

"Is there anyway that won't happen again helm?" the Captain asked in a plaintive voice.

"No sir." was the response from his officers.

**Kim**

After that last thrilling ride Kim had taken cover in some empty crews' quarters she had found. She went in there just in case her BF tried something else with the ship.

That Ron was responsible she had no doubt. Anytime that unusual happened she would bet her life that Ron was in the middle of it. How he did it she hadn't a clue, but, she just knew it was him.

The other reason she sought refuge was to rest and think. She had been surprised, during the fight with those men, that her laser lipstick had somehow been absorbed into her suit.

Was the rest of her missing pouch's contents in there as well, and how did they get in there anyway? Wade had never said that her suit could do that. Did even he know it could do it? She had too many questions, not enough answers and she had to wait until they could get out of this sitch to find out. In the meantime she had to see what this suit could do now and there was no better time to experiment.

**Ron**

Ron had just settled down on the deck when he got an idea. Now ideas are not Ron Stoppable's strong suit. Remember his suggestions to Wade that led to the cupid ray?

Well this one would top that by quite a bit. So when Ron placed his bare hand on the deck plate you just knew something 'special' was about to happen. He did not disappoint.

**Bridge**

"Captain, aft stabilizers have gone offline and forward thrusters are firing full thrust."

The much put upon and greatly agitated Captain Ten'Lav punched the communications button on his console and announced over the ship's intercom.

"Now hear this, all crew members strap your selves down, now. Secure anything near you we are about to do a three hundred and sixty degree flip. Secure yourselves as best you can."

With the forward thrusters firing on full and the aft stabilizers offline the FarSeeker started doing a magnificent three hundred and sixty degree roll. To see such a large body of metal do such an unusual maneuver was a once in a lifetime event. To the people inside it was quite another story.

**The Bridge**

"Captain, controls have returned to normal, taking thrusters offline and stabilizing ship's attitude. We should be fine in about three revolutions." the Helmsman reported.

"Captain all decks reporting al lot of damage to the ship but none of it critical. Medical reports no fatalities but plenty of minor injuries." the Second in Command reported.

"Very well, try to lock down all controls and let's see why we seem to be losing control of our ship shall we?" Ten asked in a tired voice.

"Number two," Ten addressed his Second in Command. "I don't suppose that those loose humans have anything to do with all our sudden malfunctions?"

"That's reaching pretty far Captain. How would two humans from the technological background they have been able to do what was done to this ship so far?" his Executive Officer replied reasonably.

"Has the WarLeader reported any progress on the humans' capture so far.?"

"He reported that he sent out a second squad, but nothing since then. I expect with the tumbling around we have been doing they haven't gotten much done."

"Make it a priority please."

"Yes Sir."

**Ron **

Ok maybe I shouldn't have flipped the ship around like that. Thought Ron as he hurried down more passageways, I hope that no one got hurt. But, on the other hand, it had cleared out these corridors pretty fast. I just wish I could find Kim and get out of here.

**Kim**

Kim was just getting over her BF's latest round of spin the ship and she devoutly hoped it would be his last. Running down the now deserted corridors she glanced at the Kimmunicator again to fix Ron's position. Good they were getting closer, maybe; just maybe they could meet up and figure a way out of here. Kim was also interested to learn how her BF could do what he had done. This was getting way beyond Ron weird.

**Ron**

Ron was resting in an empty room and remembering a conversation that Kim and he had early in their world saving career.

"You see Ron it doesn't matter that all the bad guys are bigger than me. I don't fight that way. I go for the weak points. I mean I'm not that big and all. That's how I can take down the baddies….."

'Weak points,' Ron mused. 'Where would the weak points be in a ship this big?' A look of intense concentration crossed his face for a moment and then, eureka, he had it. A slow smile crossed his face as he placed his hand on the wall next to him and closed his eyes.

The most unmanageably hideous sound began to echo through the great ship. It was like the souls of any place of punishment you care to name were screeching all at once. On and on the noise droned causing more than a little panic and a sudden conversion, of over half the crew, to any faith that promised to keep them out of any place that caused suffering that bad.

**Bridge**

"What in the name of the empire is that horrid sound?" Ten shouted.

"I believe its opera sir." his Second in Command replied.

"Well for my sanity's sake turn it off!"

"Sir instruments detect that there are rolling…………."

The officer reporting stopped when all the lights on the bridge cut off.

"I was going to say blackouts." the officer replied from the dark.

Ten was about to answer when he felt strange, he paused, and realized that he was slowly floating out of his command chair.

"I was also going to say that the artificial gravity may cut off as well." a voice informed him from the dark.

"Wonderful.", replied Ten as he floated in the dark.

**Kim**

Kim was thinking about her posterior as she worked her way to where her Kimmunicator indicated Ron was.

'If he's the one that cut the gravity on this ship I am so going to have words with him. That Hurt!' she thought sourly. She hadn't expected to fall on her butt when the gravity came back on.

Kim had been as taken by surprise as anyone else when she suddenly felt herself losing contact with the floor and her weight suddenly dropping to almost nothing. It reminded her of that time she had gone to the space station to rescue Ron from Monkey Fist. She hadn't minded the darkness so much, she used the light from her Kimmunicator to see by but the floating she could most def do without.

Kim didn't know why she stopped short before turning into another corridor. Maybe it was just luck or her combat experiences, but stop she did. Slowly she peered around the bend and did not like what see saw. There were more of them, dressed just like the first group that had ambushed her.

"I so don't have time for this!" she quietly complained.

A smile crossed her face, remembering her earlier experiments with what the battle suit could do now.

'Activating stealth mode.' she thought.

**WarLeader Dacht'His Office**

"War Leader, the squad leader is reporting in about the hunt for the two humans.", his aide informed him.

"Finally." The WarLeader snorted. He hadn't enjoyed himself when the power had gone out all over the ship, and Kim wasn't the only person nursing bruised body parts.

"Report!" He barked. "Have you captured it yet?"

"No Sir!"

"Well why not?"

"We can't find it sir."

"What do you mean you can't find it? Why did you bother to report in if you don't know where it's at?"

"Sir we knew where it was, we just…..couldn't see it."

"Explain, now!"

"We had plenty of eye witness accounts of its movements so we moved to intercept it."

"Well?'

"Sir we were attacked by ……."

"WHAT?"

"Nothing Sir."

"How can you be attacked by nothing? And where is the Squad Captain? Why isn't he making this report?"

"He can't sir he's ……………."

"Spit it out he's what?"

"Stuck to the wall sir."

"How is he stuck to the wall, squad leader?"

"We don't know sir. We were in the corridor we thought it might take when it happened."

"What happened?"

"There were these big balls of goop that shot out of the air and covered us sir."

"Where are you now?" the WarLeader asked rubbing his temples in pain.

"Still in corridor 27 sir, stuck to the wall."

"Are you telling me that the whole squad is stuck to the walls?"

"No sir…"

"Well that some……."

"Three are stuck to the floor and some are stuck to the ceiling sir." the Squad Leader interrupted.

"If you all are stuck to the wall how are you reporting this fiasco to me?"

"I'm stuck the closest to the intercom sir."

"Well Squad Leader you just wait right there until someone can to free you. Then you and your Leader can put, in great detail, how you screwed this up in your report!" the WarLeader barked.

"Officer of the Watch! Report!" the WarLeader bellowed.

"Reporting sir."

"Good, I want you to gather up every spare Warrior Prime we have. Equip them with all the weapons they can carry. And report to me at once! I am personally going to take charge of this twice cursed mission and capture those two humans. Especially that thrice cursed female!"

"GO! NOW!" he screamed.

He could feel another headache coming on, he just knew it.

**Examination Room One**

If there was anyone on this ship, other than Kim and Ron of course, who was happy for the rolling power failure it was Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip who was still strapped to the exam table and still quite upset about it. (Ok upset really didn't describe it, more like homicidal actually)

With the cut in power, that thrice cursed exam machine was, at least, not probing her anymore.

'I will personally cut the internal organs out of the next person who even suggests that we do this to any intelligent being again. Then I will strap them to it and let it run on them all day to prove my point.' she silently vowed.

When the power came back on the senior tech had a moment of peace. That is until she heard the all too familiar hum of the machine starting again.

"Oh no!" she moaned, "Not again", as the machines external probes started to move down again.

Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip was not having a good day.

TBC


	5. Oooooh that smell

Victory Unintentional

**Disclaimer **I don't own anything but the idea in the following story. Disney still owns Kim, Ron and most of the universe

**Thanks to Spectre 666, Samurai Crunchbird, LTAOZFAN, Comet Moon, DragOnf1y, That Swedish guy, James W., noncynic, Nftnat, daccu65 and CajunBear73 for reviewing. Thanks to all that read but didn't review as well.** (And why didn't you review, may I ask?)

I do hope to update in a timely manner and not leave you hanging for a long time.

**Much thanks to CajunBear 73 for a great beta read and pointing out when I screw up. You Rock in stereo!!**

Please Read and leave a Review it helps, really. You don't know when you mess up until someone points it out to you. Then you slap yourself on the forehead and wonder, "How did I miss that?"

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Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it." - Russell Wayne Baker

**Victory Unintentional**

**Chapter 5**

Oooooh that smell.

**Ron**

Ron was worried. He was worried because he was enjoying this control thing way too much. I mean, really, having a whole starship under his control: how cool was that? But, just when he thought he would get carried away with the fun and all, he pictured Kim's face, and she wasn't happy with what he was doing.

He knew she would probably not approve of some of the things he had done. Sure they had kidnapped them and all, but, Kim didn't believe in revenge. And he was sure she would be telling him "big-headiness alert" right about now.

Ok he'd behave himself, create some small distractions, that was his job after all, and then find Kim and figure out…ok she would figure out…what to do next.

That settled, Ron considered what to do next. He remembered something that happened at Middleton High his freshmen year when a few Seniors had dropped some cherry bombs down a few commodes. He had no clue what these people used as those receptacles (his one guess had been so spectacularly wrong), but, he didn't need to know: the ship knew and that's all that mattered.

**The Bridge**

The bridge of the FarSeeker wasn't quite the trim, neat, well-ordered place that it had been when it had slipped into orbit some four earth hours ago. It was, quite frankly, a disaster. The crew looked like it had been dragged through some netherworld dedicated to making their stay as unpleasant as possible. They had that haunted look of prey that had been run to ground, only to await the killing stroke to finish their miserable existence.

Poor Captain Ten'Lav, who only wanted a little excitement to liven up his day, had the look some people call 'The Thousand Yard Stare': that empty, lost, hopeless, conviction that he had seen it all and nothing could surprise him anymore.

You would think that he would have learned better by now, but Team Possible wasn't finished with him yet.

"Captain", a systems office croaked miserably. "We have a massive pressure build up in the waste tanks."

"Pressure build up, how can those tanks have a …….oh never mind. Can we stop it?"

Ten asked with a resigned air.

"No sir."

"Well then, this should be interesting."

Now the FarSeeker has over 10,000 inhabitants in its superstructure. And to accommodate that many people it has 5,675 waste receptacles of one kind or another.

All that raw sewage was stored in holding tanks until it could be reprocessed for further use by the crew. Now imagine if those tanks somehow were massively pressurized. That would mean that there was now more inside pressure that outside pressure and that means……

It started with a low rumble that traveled through the ship gaining momentum like a freight train going down a steep grade with no brakes. The sound got louder and louder building to a crescendo of sound and fury.

10,000 crew members heard it, Ron Stoppable, sitting in his little nook with his hand against the bulkhead surrounded with a faint blue aura, heard it, Kim Possible, just about to meet the WarLeader and what was left of his military force, heard it. And especially the Captain and bridge crew of the Destroyer FarSeeker heard it. And then, like a mighty wave, it hit.

Thousands upon thousands of gallons of raw sewage began to first pour, then gush, then fountain out of everything that was connected to the waste system. Geysers of filth reached for the ceiling in all the rooms they were located in. Monumental amounts of the most disgusting goop ever to be seen was sprayed everywhere. The force behind this was so great, and the geysers hit so hard, it actually dented the ceilings above them. The aftermath was a remarkable spray pattern, and some interesting bits of some things better left unidentified, stuck to places it had no business being.

One poor unfortunate missile tech, who was using the facilities at the time, was lifted five feet in the air, and then thrown clear across the room. His head became lodged in one of the plastic shower dividers and had to be cut loose by the support staff ten hours later. The result of his impromptu flying lesson was a set of bruises that only a small set of close friends would see, a remarkable case of constipation that would last most of his life, and an almost irrational fear of relieving himself.

The much put upon bridge crew sat at their stations in stoic silence as waste water sloshed around them. The mess was ankle deep and the crew all were extremely

glad that boots had been part of the uniform of the day. The Captain's Quarters had not been spared the filth flood that had plagued the rest of the ship, and of course, it was right next door.

"Captain, there are reports of flooding in over half of the ship." the Systems Officer reported quietly.

"Tell the crew to get some mops." he replied wearily as he hung his head.

**Kim**

Kim had been lucky so far. She was in a corridor that hadn't flooded and she had stopped before she had turned the corner and had avoided the last forty five Warrior Primes on the ship led by an irate WarLeader.

Kim carefully peered around the corner she was about to go around. Her brief glance had told her that there were a lot of people between her and Ron and that she had to get by them to find her boyfriend.

Kim smiled when a plan began to form in her mind. If, a big if, she could get around these guys and get them to bunch up a bit, she could take them out all at once.

Smiling Kim gave the command 'Stealth.'

**Ron **

Ron had been crouching in a small alcove just off the main corridor where Kim was currently getting ready to battle the WarLeader's troops, still connected to the MMP that was flowing through the ship. Carefully he began to pull out the mystic energy that had affected the ship's systems. Slowly, with as much skill as he possessed, he drew it back into his body. He could feel Kim nearby; felt her wild spirit calling to him. She would be here soon and they would finally meet. He had to be ready to move soon. Kim was coming. They had to find a way off this ship and get home somehow. Ron had no idea how it would happen but with Kim he could do anything. 'Get ready dudes, you're about to face Team Possible', Ron thought. 'It's time for us to go home.'

**Bridge**

"Captain, the Chief Medical Officer is reporting in."

"Very well," The Captain relied. "Doctor what can I do for you?"

"Sir, I'm here in Corridor 23, Deck 37 and I have a problem here."

"Join the rest of the crew Doctor. What's your problem?"

"Sir, I have just found the WarLeader and his Warrior Primes."

"Doing what Doctor?"

"Well they seem to be encased in a gelatinous goop."

"Come again Doctor, they are in what?"

"Sir it appears to be a pink gelatinous substance. There is a huge block of this stuff in the corridor and the Warleader and his troops are covered in it. They appear to be suspended in it."

"Are they all right Doctor?"

"Well they don't appear to be seriously hurt but……. their clothing and armor appears to be …..Dissolving"

"Dissolving?'

"Yes Sir there are rents and gaps in their clothing and they appear to be getting bigger as I watch."

"Can you get them out?"

"Yes Sir, but my assistants are getting some protective clothing before we can start."

"Why the protection Doctor?"

"Sir, the substance is highly active and seems to cause an allergic reaction to who ever touches it. We need protective clothing to get everybody out."

"What about the ones inside it?"

'Can't tell yet, sir we need to get them out first. They appear to be ok, except for their clothing dissolving, of course."

"Report to me when you have them out, Doctor."

"It has to be that female." Ten mused to nobody in particular. "What does it have against clothing, I wonder?"

Kim Possible raced up the corridor her Kimmunicator indicated Ron was in. He had been stationary for some time now. There was a good chance that she would meet up with him in a few minutes.

She grinned at the condition she had left the last roadblock between her and Ron. 'I had no idea that hair gel would do that to them.' She snickered. 'That's what you get for interrupting me and Ron by that lake. You're messing with the wrong girl when you mess with my Ronshine!'

**Bridge**

"Captain, the medical officer again."

"Yes Doctor, how's it going down there?"

"We have them out sir, no serious injuries but…."

"Yes Doctor?"

"Well they seem to all be suffering allergic reactions to the substance."

"How bad is it?"

"Well they all have a bad rash sir."

"How bad is it?"

"It covers every inch of their body sir; also, it's turning them different colors..."

"What colors, doctor?"

"There doesn't seem to be a pattern sir. The WarLeader is a remarkable shade of orange."

"Can they move?"

"No sir, they have an additional problem."

"And that is?"

"It's their privates' sir."

"Privates' doctor?"

"Yes sir, they're swollen….."

"How bad is it?"

"About four times the normal size sir, they can't walk."

"Are you telling me that all the Warrior Primes we have on this ship have been defeated by one Earth female? That it has stripped, beaten, infected, and humiliated ninety-three of the finest warriors in the galaxy? Then to top it off, it has rendered them incapable of even walking, all in the space of about three Earth hours?"

"That's about it sir."

"Is there anything else I should know doctor?" Ten asked with some trepidation.

"Well sir, there is an unusual side effect to that gel they were encased in."

"You mean besides the rash, the swelling, and the color change?"

"Yes Sir."

"What would that be?" Ten asked, almost dreading the answer.

"Well the gel seems to have added a lot of additional body to the WarLeader's war mane.

It's quite fluffy now."

"Thank you doctor, you may finish your duties now."

Captain Ten'Lav of the Destroyer FarSeeker terminated communications with the doctor and stood up with as much dignity that a captain can have, while standing in the remaining filth that hadn't been cleaned up yet on his bridge, and walked into his day cabin.

There, among the various indications of massive catastrophe that had befallen his ship, his lip begin to twitch, then a snicker escaped his lips, then from deep within his body, a massive explosion erupted from him.

"Bouahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahh!"

It took the good captain about ten minutes to control his laughter. The only thing that prevented him from sliding along the wall he was leaning against, down to the floor below, was the filth that currently covered it.

Ten'Lav wiped his eyes and tried to contain his amusement. He hadn't felt this good since he got to this bewitched planet.

**The Meeting**

Ron stepped out of the alcove that he had been hiding in just as a red haired, blue and white clad beauty stopped in front of him.

"KP!"

"Ron!"

They cried as they fell into each others embrace. Sharing a kiss that only the young, and in love, can know. Despite her battle suit clad figure, it was Ron who squeezed his girlfriend the hardest.

"Ron….glad….to …see …too …oxygen….becoming….issue!" Kim gasped.

"What? Oh sorry KP." He let up the pressure of his hug.

Kim then grabbed her BF's head and pulled him into another soul shattering kiss.

"Ron Stoppable don't you dare leave me again! You got that!" Kim cried when she finished.

"Wasn't exactly my idea K.P. but you got it." Ron replied with one of his goofiest grins.

"Ron were you behind all the weird stuff that's been happening around here? Kim asked with a grin.

"Huh, kinda, K.P. The Mystical Monkey Power kind of messed with the computers running this ship. So I could make it do things." Ron answered sheepishly.

Ron then proceeded to tell Kim what he had done to the ship and how he did it. Kim was impressed with what Ron had done, then proud that he had managed to restrain himself without him getting 'big heady about it.'

Kim then told Ron about her adventures and how she was looking for him. Ron was impressed, but not surprised, when Kim finished her recounts of her adventures. After all she was Kim Possible and she could do anything.

"Well, now K.P. how do we get off this tub?"

**Bridge**

"Captain we believe we have a way to track the two humans." The Security Officer reported to his captain.

"You mean besides the destruction, waste, and incapacitated Warrior Primes they have left in their wake?" Ten asked with some sarcasm.

"Yes sir, they appear to be emitting a low range signal of some sort. Maybe it's a tracking device of some kind."

"Well I certainly would like to know where those two walking disasters are. Maybe it's a warning to anybody intelligent that happens to come across them, to stay away. This obviously doesn't include us. So, you have a firm lock on them?"

"Yes sir."

Ten then tapped a button on his command chair and called out over the ships intercom system. "Transport Chief, report in please."

"Chief reporting captain, what can I do for you?"

"Chief I have two homing signals from two very irritating humans. Can you lock on them and get them off my ship?"

"Let me check sir……Sorry Sir too much interference from the ships superstructure. If you could get them in a more open space I could do it."

"Captain." The security officer broke in. "Recreation room five isn't too far away from their signal."

"Could you do it from rec. room five?" The captain queried the transporter chief.

"Yes sir, that's big enough to do it."

"Ok then, this is what we'll do." The captain said with a smile on his lips.

TBC


	6. The Revenge of The Med Tech

Victory Unintentional

**Disclaimer **I don't own anything but the idea in the following story. Disney still owns Kim, Ron and most of the universe

**Thanks to Spectre 666, Samurai Crunchbird, LTAOZFAN, Comet Moon, DragOnf1y, That Swedish guy, James W., noncynic, Nftnat, daccu65 and CajunBear73 for reviewing. Thanks to all that read but didn't review as well.** (And why didn't you review, may I ask?)

**Big thanks to CajunBear 73 for a great beta read and pointing out when I screw up. You always rock!!**

Please Read and leave a Review it helps, really. You don't know when you mess up until someone points it out to you. Then you slap yourself on the forehead and wonder, "How did I miss that?"

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I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

**Victory Unintentional**

**Chapter 6**

Revenge of the Med Tech.

Just outside of Corridor 23, Deck 37 the ships chief security officer stopped to brief his troops.

"Remember the plan: you are to drive the two humans toward Recreation Room Three. You are not to actively engage them. You are not to cause them any harm at all. Is that clear?"

"Sir, what if ……?" one nervous security member started to ask.

"Drive them only trooper. Only drive them. Remember 'Standing Order One': 'No test subjects are to be harmed before, during or after examination.' Ok now remember they have, so far, caused massive failures throughout the ship, made the ship do some things I had no idea it had the capability of doing and defeated all the Warrior Primes on the ship."

The last was said with a certain sense of satisfaction, as he recalled the WarLeader's dismissive comments about his security people.

"So be careful. Now the Captain had told me that we have control of the ship's systems again. He has also told me that all the doors and corridors except those leading to Recreation Room Three are closed and locked. We drive them to the room, lock them in and wait until we are told to go in. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" they replied in unison.

"Keep your communication devices on broadcast, the Captain wants to monitor the situation. Let's move out."

**Team Possible**

"Ron, I don't like it. None of the doors we've tried will open."

Well KP, maybe they're always locked. I haven't tried to open many doors since I got free. And I pulled all the MMP out of the systems so I don't think I can make the ship obey my commands anymore."

"Do you think you could, you know, infect the ship again?"

"Thanks KP. You make me sound like a bug. And yeah I think I could but, it's a big ship and it might take time. Do you want to stand out here like this while I try?"

"Point taken, I just get the feeling that the whole sitch is sort of ….."

"Trappish?'

"Still pretty sure that's not a word, but, yeah."

Kim stopped for a minute and cocked her head a bit to hear better.

"Ron do you hear something?"

"You mean the sound of a lot of running feet coming this way?"

"Ron! You heard that and didn't tell me?"

"Well I was kinda hoping that I was hearing things KP."

"Ron….." She began when she saw movement up the corridor in which they were

currently standing. "Run."

Team Possible began a dash down the corridor, followed by the ship's security force in hot pursuit.

**Bridge**

"Communications, keep an open line to the security people trying to herd our troublesome guests to Recreation Room Three please." Ten'Lav requested of his bridge staff.

"Yes sir. Do you want it on speakers?" the officer questioned.

"Go ahead."

The communications officer flipped a switch and the bridge was filled with the sounds of a running pursuit.

"Come on people don't let them get too far ahead of us."

"Sir, what is that goop…….."

"Keep away from that stuff it will ……."

"Sir, I have three of my squad stuck to the wall….keep back, keep back!"

"Watch out for that pink stuff. You don't want to know what it will do to you."

"Too late!"

"Is that stuff dissolving their uniforms?"

"Medical, Medical get up here quick!"

"What is that loud noise?"

"It's the other human, the male; it's screaming and running around."

"Don't let it get between ….."

"Don't shoot, you……"

"Nice going you idiot! You just stunned five of your own men."

"The male is running around the corner. Where's the female?"

"Watch out it's ……….."

"There's more of that goop coming….."

"Duck you idiot!"

"Great six more stuck to the wall. What IS that stuff?"

"It's not as bad as that pink junk."

"FALL BACK, FALL BACK!"

**Team Possible**

As Kim was causing chaos among what was left of the security people, Ron had his glove off and was pressing his bare hand against the bulkhead, a look of intense concentration on his face. 'There, that's it.' Ron thought. "Just a twitch and….."

"Kim!" Ron called out. "Let's get out of here. It's about to get really messy pretty soon!"

"Coming!" Kim called out as she flew past him. "Let's go!"

The two members of Team Possible ran down the corridor and ducked into the only door that was open to them just as fire suppression foam began to spray from concealed nozzles all over the ship. The door of Recreation Room Three shut just as the foam began to fill the corridors outside the door and in compartments all over the ship.

On the bridge, Captain Ten'Lav sat in his command chair and watched, as his crew and every square inch of his bridge got coated with white sticky foam that would soon turn into a sludge with the consistency of snot, with a resigned air.

Holding his hands over his eyes to keep out the foam, he bellowed: "Turn that foam off and get the security people back on line!"

"Yes sir. Security detail back on speaker." the muffled reply came back to him.

"Where are the humans, Chief?" Ten questioned.

"We have them sealed off in Rec. Room Three sir."

Captain Ten'lav turned to call out another order when, all over the ship, the most horrendous noise began to emit from its speakers, drowning out all conversation

Ten looked over to his foam encrusted second in command and asked. "Is it……?" he screamed to be heard over the dim.

"Yes sir, it's that opera, again." his second screamed back.

"Turn it off before I loose what's left of my sanity!" Ten roared.

When the impromptu opera concert was suddenly cut off, Ten then turned to his communications officer and ordered: "Get me the Transport Chief please."

"Transport Chief on speaker sir."

"Chief have you got a lock on those two walking disasters?"

"Checking sir…….Yes sir, locked on and ready."

"Captain, the Chief Medical Officer is asking for you." the Comm. Officer announced.

"Stand by chief. Yes Doctor, what can I do for you?"

"Sir, are you going to send the humans back anytime soon?"

"As quickly as we can doctor."

"We have to wipe their short term memory before you can do that."

"How is that accomplished Doctor?"

"A simple injection, it disrupts neural functions and causes short term memory loss."

"How much of this wonder drug do you have?"

"Not much. Why Captain?"

"I was just thinking that it would be nice to give it to the entire crew Doctor. I don't think that there are many crewmembers that would wish to remember the last five hours, that's all. Does it have to be injected?"

"That's the normal procedure. Is there a problem with that method?"

"The problem is that all the Warrior Primes on this ship and three quarters of our ships security people haven't been able to get near them. I doubt that they will let you get close enough to give them a shot. Is there any other way to administer it?"

"Well we could make an aerosol of it, I suppose, then distribute through the ventilation system."

"Excellent Doctor, do it that way and as soon as possible."

**Team Possible**

Oddly enough, or maybe not Recreation Room Three was the only room in the entire ship that hadn't been flooded by foam or subjected to the empire's version of opera. Kim and Ron studied their surroundings with a practiced eye and did not like the conclusions they had reluctantly drawn.

"We were driven here Ron. It's the only reason they haven't come here after us." Kim stated as she ran to Ron.

"Yeah, KP, but why? I don't see anything dangerous in here." Ron replied as he opened his arms to her.

The young couple came together for a crushing hug. They kissed, gathering both strength and assurance from the presence of the other. Kim placed her cheek against Ron's chest and sighed. This was the first time since they awoke that something wasn't happening to either one or the other. Ron held his love close, luxuriating in the feel of her body against him. He closed his eyes and buried his head in her hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance of her shampoo.

"So KP what do we do now?" Ron whispered into her hair, his eyes still closed.

"You got me.", Kim sighed into Ron's chest, "but whatever happens they'll know that they messed with the wrong people this time."

So intent were the young lovers on each other that they did not notice the room filling up with a light green mist.

Ron opened his eyes and remarked, "Kim is it just me, or is it awfully green in here?"

Kim pulled back. "Green? What do you mean green….."

"Captain to Chief, transport, now."

**Lake Middleton**

"Ron what do you mean ……… Where are we?"

"Where's the hovercraft? Why are we clear down here by the lake? I thought you parked further up the bluff." Ron questioned.

"I did. Why are we down by the lake anyway?" Kim responded as she looked over their surroundings.

"Wow, talk about being caught up in the moment." Ron remarked. "I didn't think we spaced out this much when we kissed."

"Come on Ron." Kim replied as she grabbed his hand. "Let's find the hovercraft and go home. I have no idea what time it is and I don't want to get grounded."

The couple climbed the bluff, hand in hand, to where the hovercraft was parked. Just as they arrived two vehicles pulled up, almost at the same time. One was a G.J. hovercraft like theirs and the other was Kim's dad's bronze Jaguar.

"I told Dr. Director that letting amateurs use official vehicles was a bad idea. Kimberly do you and your boyfriend have nothing better to do than use official vehicles to make out by a lake?" Will Du questioned.

"I would like to hear the answer to that question myself Kimmie-cub." her father remarked standing near the open door of his Jag. "Do you know its two hours past your curfew? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Daddy I can…." Kim began, if it was one thing she disliked worse than Will Du, it was being yelled at by her father in front of Will Du.

"Not another word young lady." Dr. Possible growled cutting off his daughter's explanation. "We'll discuss this when we get home."

"And as for you Ronald," Dr. Possible rounded on Kim's boyfriend. "I thought I could trust you to get my daughter home at a reasonable time."

"Not a word." Dr. Possible said as he cut off any reply Ron was about to make. "Get in the car now."

Kim's dad turned to Will Du as the former was getting behind the controls of the hovercraft that Kim had flown to the lake.

"Agent Du, I would like to thank you for helping me find my daughter."

"Think nothing of it Dr. Possible. Perhaps Kimberly should stick to babysitting, less chance of her misplacing valuable equipment that way." Du remarked, as he engaged the rotors and began to fly away.

James Possible watched the agent fly away for a minute before climbing behind the wheel of his car. He looked in his rear view mirror at two anxious teens in the back seat.

"Kimmie-cub….." he began.

"Yes Daddy….."

"Is he always such a pompous ass, or did he do it just for me?" he questioned.

"Actually Daddy he was being nice for you." Kim explained, a slow smile spreading

across her face.

James Possible snorted in amusement. "Maybe I shouldn't punish you for your stunt just for that comment."

He put the car in drive and started to leave the lake side. "You do realize that some punishment is in order for the stunt you both pulled tonight don't you?" Seeing Kim's head nod in the rear mirror he grunted. "Come on lets get you two home. I want to know want you two have been up to all night."

"Nothing much, Mr.Dr.P, nothing worth remembering anyway." Ron replied as he cuddled with Kim in the backseat of her father's car.

**In high orbit**

"Navigator best speed away from this planet before it does something else to us."

Ten ordered.

"Yes sir." the officer replied. "Breaking orbit now."

The Destroyer FarSeeker lifted her bow and sped away from the planet as if the hounds of some netherworld were after her. The crew began to notice a shudder that passed through the ship at odd intervals as it increased speed toward the outer planets.

If the ship were a living thing you could almost say it had developed a nervous twitch.

**Yamanuchi**

Sensei had watched for hours as the Lotus Blade flickered in and out of visibility upon its stand of honor. After everything appeared to be finished, he smiled with relief.

'Stoppable-san has acquitted himself well.' the old master thought. 'Even though he awoke in a strange place and in possible danger he cared only for the welfare of Possible-san and did only enough to free them. I wonder if he realized that, if he wanted to, he could have destroyed the ship.'

Sensei nodded and arose from the lotus position he has been in while he watched the performance of the sword. He was convinced, more than ever, that Stoppable-san had been chosen by the blade for a reason beyond his connection to Ti-Shing-Pec-Whar.

"An interesting solution to your situation Stoppable-san," Sensei murmured, walking back to his quarters. The smile he wore was hidden by his long, flowing beard "I would not have thought of the septic system as a weapon. A most pungent weapon indeed……"

**Wade**

The young tech genius of Team Possible had been examining Kim's battle suit since she had returned from her mission and detour to the lake. If there was one thing Wade liked more that inventing things for the team it was puzzles, and he had a beauty here. First of all neither Kim nor Ron had any clear memories of the last five hours.

Questions asked by two sets of parents about what they had been doing had produced little in the way of answers that satisfied anybody. Wade had been able to get the suit just before Kim and Ron had been grounded for a week for breaking, ok shattering, Kim's curfew.

The second problem had been Kim wondering where her pouch, that carried her specialized tools, had gone along with her tools. Wade had been surprised to discover that, somehow, they had been absorbed into the suit. What had made the surprise even more perplexing was that almost all of them were either low or empty. What had Kim been doing that she now didn't remember?

**Outer reaches of the solar system**

The Far Seeker hung in deep space just beyond the edge of the solar system and awaited its Captain's orders. Ten'Lav had briefly considered placing a warning buoy at the far reaches of this system, a warning to any intelligent race to stay away from the third planet from the sun. He rejected the notion as soon as he recalled having read reports that a Lowardian ship had visited that world once. In Ten's opinion any race stupid enough to go back to that planet, with the possibility of running into those two, deserved anything it got.

Ten'Lav sat down in his command chair and said, "Prepare for the jump to light speed."

All around him, the great ship came to life as it prepared to leap back into the vast reaches of space.

He looked over his bridge crew. The same people filled the seats but the attitude was decidedly different. Where once there had been a happy, relaxed group of professional spacers, there was now the general feeling of a hunted animal that had just barely escaped the predator's jaws. He had offered to delay jump so they could get out of their snot-like encrusted uniforms and into something more comfortable. They had insisted, well begged actually, to be allowed to jump as far away from that planet as possible before some other calamity befell them.

Ten'Lav thought they were being a bit paranoid about the whole thing and was going to order them to change, when a huge glop of snot-like foam dropped down from the ceiling and landed on the back of his head, and then began to ooze down his back.

"Helm, engage engines and jump now!" he commanded as he squirmed in his seat.

The FarSeeker engaged its engines and leapt into the darkness, with a Captain devoutly

hoping he would never have to return to that planet again.

"Captain we have a call from security on line one." his Security Officer reported.

"Captain here, go ahead."

"Sir this is Security down on Deck 37 and we have an incident."

"What happened?"

"Sir a Senior Med Tech attacked three security personnel and did considerable damage to them."

"A Med Tech? What happened?"

"Well sir, we were doing a room by room search for any damage because of the unpleasantness that happened on this deck. We entered the exam room were the earth female escaped from and found the Med Tech strapped to the exam table. She was just babbling when they released her. She then turned around and attacked them all. We finally had to drug her to capture her."

"Did she say anything that might explain why she did that?"

"Just babbling sir, only one word was clear and it made no sense."

"What was she saying?"

"She just kept repeating the words anal-probe sir."

"Anal-probe, that's all she said?

"Yes sir, anal-probe."

Senior Medical Technician Rehsup'Lip lay restrained in the ships medical department. She looked straight ahead,seeing nothing of her surroundings while slowly stroking something that was in her tunic pocket. It was the anal probe that had 'examaned' her so thoughly for almost five hours as she had been on that examination table.

"Soon," She crooned softly. "Soon they will forget all about me. Then they will see how it feels. Then I'll show them what its like."

She suddenly smiled as she thought of what she would do to the Chief Medical Officer. She couldn't wait.

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I want to thank every one who read and reviewed or just read this little tale of mine. It has been the longest thing I have attempted so far on this site and, if the reviews and hits are to believed, the most successful.

Special thanks go out to the **Samurai Crunchbird **for pointing out to me when I messed up the time line. (It's been fixed so don't bother to look for it now people!) I put in a little foreshadowing about the invasion in "Graduation" at the end. And for not tossing any of his 'plutonium-tipped flaming arrows' at me, at least so far he hasn't, I may be premature.

A big thank you to **CajunBear73 **for being the test subject and beta for this tale, and letting me bounce idea's off him.

Thanks to **Comet Moon **for inspiring this ending with his review of the earlier edition ( see feedback does work)

And especially you, the readers, that reviewed and told me what I did right and what I did wrong. It doesn't happen without you. Thanks again.

Well I'm off to start another tale or two, see you online.

Screaming Phoenix


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